A kiss with bloody lips
by Henry Uchiha
Summary: I was raised in darkness and the burning cold. I was forged by hatred and used as a puppet by others... Now I have my chance to get my own back. After Peter's bitter kiss... I changed into the beast I was today. I was going to destroy him and the people who caused me hell. Oh how I am going to make them pay. Warning: boyxboy
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone and thanks for taking the time to read this fanfic. Hope you have a nice day/night wherever you are! If you enjoy this, please fav and follow. I will try and update regularly. ****Warning: **story contains BoyxBoy (don't like, then don't read), swearing, scenes of extreme violence and ratings may be turned up at a later time.****

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_"Close your eyes. I know what you see. The darkness is high and you're in ten feet deep."_

The rain outside slowly pattered against the coffins as tears fell in line.

_"But we've survived more terrible monsters than sleep. And you know I, will be here to tell you to breathe."_ I looked to the heavens as my own tears mingled with the roses people placed on the obsidian lids. _"Tu sei mio soldatino, La ragione per cui vivo."_

_"You're my little soldier. The reason I live." _People whispered shakily as I in turn walked forward and placed my rose down. _"Non ti scordar di me."_

_"Don't forget me."_ their quiet voices roamed over the graveyard around us as I watched the rose covered boxes slip slowly into the ground yet I still had to continue singing even though my heart was breaking with every new word. _"Io vegliero su di_ _te."_

_"I'm watching over you."_ I clenched my fists as I watched as others stepped forward throwing a handful of dirt into the graves. Lightning flashed through the sky with the faint roll of thunder as I sobbed quietly as I could sing no more but couldn't help as I crouched in between both of the holes feeling a strong hand support my shoulder. "I will miss you." I kissed the edges of my fingers and rested them on both markers that stood before me. "I love you mother." I turned to face the other marker, "I love you father."

The words tasted like ash in my mouth.

"Piccolo James" a voice holding my families accent curled above me. "It's time to go."

"Carry on. I need a bit of time"

"But James-"

"GO!" I snarled and watched as the people quickly stepped back away from me fearfully but still cast me sympathetic glances as they trudged away under the cover of umbrellas while I took on the full torrent of the rainfall.

At the edge of the clearing I took notice of another boy. He was dressed completely in black and his brown curls fell across his eyes so I couldn't make out their colour. To say he was handsome would have been an understatement. It seemed as though the whole air gravitated towards him.

As the rain fell harder my eyes began to adjust. "Was it you?" I whispered knowing perfectly well that he could hear me.

He didn't budge.

My cold, fake emerald gaze locked on him as the pounding of my heart and down pour began to feel almost painful. "Was it you?" the figure made a nod of his head and my gaze changed into a boring scorch as I felt heated tears cloud my sight.

I knew what he was.

What we were

I began to walk back and forth between the two graves as I picked up a sledgehammer from a near by wall. "You shouldn't do that." The boy whispered with a lilac voice was his hand rested on my shoulder. Now he was close I could see his blood covered eyes.

"You don't know me. You don't know them. Besides this isn't for you." I twirled and smashed the grave with a quick burst of anger. "I've done what was asked of me. Haven't you made my life bad enough with what you did to me?"

"I never meant-"

"For me to live through it? For me to turn out to be even stronger than you thought? For me to be your worst nightmare?"

"I never meant to hurt someone I loved."

"There's just one problem with that."

In the blink of an eye we were back to back as I rested my head on his shoulder blades feeling an eternal anger, gnawing viciously at me from my marble insides. "You don't love me. Why would you do this to someone you love? I lost everything."

"I killed them so we could be together. They were torturing you."

"Then what would this be? Is this really a better alternative to what I am dealing with, Peter? For gods sake! I'm a murderer!"

"How can you be…? I killed-"

"They linked me to the case Peter! They made me the prime suspect!"

"Come live with the clan! We can keep you safe… we can make it so much easier for you."

"No." I shook my head as he turned and grasped my hands pleading. His touch sent jolts of electricity through me and for a moment a distant part of my brain recognised what he used to be to me; a friend, a shoulder to cry on, a boy I loved with my heart.

But what was left of my life now.

My contacts began to burn away from the venom in my eyes revealing the similar blood filled gaze that was resembled so exactly onto the boy who had changed me. "Funny isn't it." I shoved my hands in my pockets and began walking down the long winding path as he followed in my footsteps. "They say love changes you. I had no idea how right that saying truly was."

"James, don't be an idiot. Come with me!" his hand reached out then came to a stop as I focused my entire concentration onto him while a grin slowly took the corner of my mouth.

"You gave me so much more than just immortality." I hissed and watched as his body stiffened then swung around in front of me under my grip. "I'm a very gifted boy wouldn't you say? Seventeen and probably one of the most deadliest vampires there is in these parts." My hiss turned into a comforted purr as I let him go and carried on my way feeling a confidence slowly take me in hold.

"James it's not safe out there… what if you can't control yourself?"

"Then you will have more blood on your hands." I snapped.

"I don't want to leave you like this."

"You left me off far worse five days ago. You left me writhing and burning in agony."

"I wanted to help you!"

"HELP!?"

I turned sharply and watched his body rose off the ground as anger reined in my mind and I felt myself loosing control, finding new strength with coursing rage. "You made me a monster!"

"Only if you now view yourself as one."

"There was a time where those velvet lips and satin words would hold me tighter than no other." I placed my hand on his mouth as if to prove to myself just how right I was. "Funny how the time has changed." I watched as he fell to the floor and immediately snapped back up grabbing hold of my arm and our deadly gazes locked once again.

"I can't just let you go out there."

"You ruined my life you bastard!"

"Then let me fix it!"

Behind his tainted eyes I could just imagine what once had been warmth. "HEY YOU TWO!" the same voice of the man who had been stood over me earlier sounded as he began to run over to us.

I sniffed and felt a delicious scent fill me from head to toe and involuntarily a gasp escaped my lips. It was as thought the four seasons had came alive and now fed into the thirst and hunger which was driving me absolutely mad.

"James, don't!"

But Peter was too late as I rushed forward grabbing the man by the throat and lifting him off the ground. "PUT HIM DOWN-"

"Oh give it a break." I imagined him coming to a halt and he fell with a thud onto the ground though his eyes still betrayed how frantic he was. His will battering against the sired power which he had inadvertently given to me, by making me this disgraced beast which I now was. "Now, I'm ever so thirsty." I turned the guys head with my thumb slightly so the vein in his neck was exposed. I watched with heightened eyes how it pulsed exaggeratedly to my eyes. Pumping and beating loudly persistent to me as I rubbed my nose softly against it. Inhaling as much of the scent as I could possibly allow myself to. "I'm dying for a drink."

"Piccolo James-"

He took a sharp intake of breath and his heart began to beat faster pouring that scent into my nose.

In his eyes I could make my reflection out. I wasn't that tall, just a bit shorter than Peter. I had golden locks of perfect hair which spiked forward magnificently over a sculpted pale face and slightly stained rouge lips which drew people in. My suit was soaked and sticking to my skin from the sheer amount of beating it had taken from the harsh rain. "Shush, shush." I cooed softly, gently rubbing my thumb across his cheek, as though I was the adult and he was the child. "This is only going to hurt a lot." I opened my mouth wide and sank my teeth into the man's neck as he collapsed forward into my hold, whimpering slightly as I inhaled the warm liquid which dulled the burning in my throat. My eyes burned with the agony and I could only guess what horrific sight my face was as a fire burned in my eyes and my teeth grew sharper, elongating into the flowing current of blood.

As he ran dry I tossed his carcass to the side next to Peter while I tentatively licked the droplets of blood from my finger tips. I was pissed off just how quickly he had run dry "You should have killed me." I smirked. I could only guess that the sight of my eyes burned as I turned my head back to him. Exerting the full extent of my puppet master skill over him. Trying with every ounce of desperation to make sure his body stayed pinned to the ground. _Where he belongs. _A chuckle escaped my thoughts and I found myself laughing, unable to handle to raw emotion of growing bitterness.

"I warned you." he growled as he slowly got to his feet exerting under every effort.

"Stay down!" I snarled forcing my entire will onto him to fall to the floor but all it did was slow him down more. There was no stopping him. Peter was as stubborn as I was as full of hate.

"I warned you I would take you to our clan, even if it was by force!" his gaze locked with mine and I felt myself getting lost in those cloudy eyes as darkness passed over me.

_That bastard._ I thought as everything started going blank.

Where had my life gone wrong?


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone I hope you have a nice day/night wherever you are! ****Warning: **story contains BoyxBoy (don't like, then don't read), swearing, scenes of extreme violence and ratings may be turned up at a later time.****

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_**~Inside James' mind~**_

Why me?! My tears ran freely down my face as the wind wrapped around me while I ran. The cold winter air bit viciously into my bones as I sobbed running past people who looked at me as though I was some nutcase. My long scarf whipped back into my face and my hat felt like it was about to fall off but I didn't care.

My life had been so perfect. I had been hidden from everybody and yet I had been able to find someone I could love; Jamie Gardner. Everyday we would sneak behind the bicycle shed at school and he would kiss me.

Yet now it was all over. Everyone at school had found out about me and him. How long was it before my parents knew? Already they at school the others had started attacking me. My own friends had turned against me.

School had been the one place where I could escape to from a life of pain.

I couldn't take this no more.

No more.

It was only when I reached the other side of the park where I knew no one else ever went did I finally come to a stop. The rose bushes were fading under a weighed blanket of snow next to the broken ice covered river, while a coven of strong standing oaks stood around the area as though they were soldiers protecting their king.

I liked coming here, I often did when mother was working late and father was to busy smoking cigars and talking to his protégé; the boy he wished truly was his son. I would feel lonely at home it was no wonder I had brought myself to this.

I would sit on the old rope swing and gently push out as it rocked me back and forth over the water "Why can't anything in my life just go right for once! I'm sick of these stupid dreams! I'm sick of always being alone!" I whispered and wiped away the slowly oncoming tears which froze quickly to my cheek.

The water was freezing; I would be dead in a matter of seconds. My body would sink to the bottom and they wouldn't find me till summer… that's how long it would take my parents to even realise that I was missing, but as I was the smallest step away from stepping into the sweet oblivion of the after life; a place where even my parents couldn't hurt me.

I heard the last voice I expected to hear.

"Hey." My head snapped around and there stood Alexander. He wore a collared green shirt and over jacket which suited him greatly, but from the sleeves you could still see his strong muscles and equally toned legs through his jeans with his wolf belt he so often wore, "Why are you crying? It can't be that bad?" he sat on the grass as close to the bank as he could without touching the water or scaring me to move any further.

"What would you care, douche? You hate me remember." I turned away my face. I couldn't even look at him. Why was he even here?! Why can't people even just let me die! I meant nothing to them.

I meant nothing to myself.

"I care al'right." His voice was so pitiful that even for moment I forgot how much I hate him but he looked at me with such sympathy that I found myself blurting out everything. Everything about at home with my parents, what had happened that morning that I had barely gotten away from a beating by my father before I found myself being beaten by some boy at school who had decided that I was less of a human than he is because of the way I loved, and because of that; I needed to have the living daylight beaten out of me.

His hands slowly traced the outlines of dark purple and black marks on my face along with the deep, dark red cuts which were beginning to get covered by frost from the intense cold.

I got off the swing and cautiously took a seat next to him after pulling my arms around my knees and resting my head on them, "You don't have to listen to me, you know. You can just turn around and pretend you never saw me. You can pretend you never knew that all this was happening to me, kind of like the police who have been paid off by my father."

"I know that." He smiled softly as he took my cold hands and began to pull me back away from the edge of the bank and seated me on the swing which was held aloft by a tree. "If I didn't want to listen I would go." I frowned at him but he just put on that stupid smile, "but I want to."

"So what. You just hate me at school? But you want to be friends." My eyes burned as I glowered at him, "So how is this going to work, you just bully me at school and make me feel miserable but outside of it you're my shoulder to cry on?!" I lunged for him; kicking off the tree, but he easily swapped it around so instead of me pinning him down, he had me pinned to the ground with my arms behind my back, I franticly tried kicking him but it came to no avail.

The wind swept through the clearing harshly knocking the petals from the tree which fell around us both and I still maintained my frown at him, "YOU MADE MY LIFE HELL AT SCHOOL! YOU'RE PART OF THE REASON I'M HERE!" that stopped him for a second as guilt flashed through his eyes. "That's right." I lowered my voice which made it all the worse for him. "You found us. You told everyone. You thought it was some big laugh. I was finally happy! Even if it was a secret I was SO happy!" I let my tears return as they began dropping into the snow beneath me. "Alex you can't just think that is how things can work." He slowly leant forward; He's probably going to hit me. I'm used to it. He can't make me feel any worse than I am now. I thought. "You can hit me as much as you want, but I will never! EVER-" his lips touched mine and for a moment shock ran through me until I closed my eyes falling into the kiss, never breaking it until we were force to come back up for air.

"Fall." I whispered and stared at his blushing crimson face. My whole body felt the urge to run and never look back but my heart was heavy holding my body to the ground as we just looked at each other. "Alex-"I turned my head away.

"James, don't."

"This is why you hated me? I can't forgive you yet for what you did today." I whispered then watched as his eyes shattered but he still held himself together. "But…" I said into awkward silence and his eyes looked back at me. "I liked the kiss." I whispered then watched as his lips slowly caressed mine all over again and my body felt like it was melting as a groan passed through my lips.

"That good?" he laughed then he lay next to me and watched the silver clouds.

"So you're like me." I said after a while. It took a minute or so but he brought his arm around me and pulled me close.

"Yeah." He finally replied as I closed my eyes listening to the new melody the area played for me by the symphony of the winter.

We lay there till the moon rose into the night sky and the stars tore through the cloud cover, glistening like hanging diamonds in a velvet cloak above us. "I've got to be getting home." I sighed, I looked over and only just realised I had my head on his chest and was listening to the slow, calming beat of his heart. I sat up quickly and blushed, feeling the warmth as it rushed to my face while I ran my hand across his kindling cheek. Why am I so worried anyway? My parents won't care I'm out this late. "Ugh…Alexander?"

"No one calls me Alexander." He whispered, "Normally people just give me a nickname."

"And what would that be?" I raised a curious eyebrow.

"You can call me Lexi." I laughed then slowly knelt over him, resting my head on my arms which were placed softly upon his chest. I could see it in his eyes how he felt; he didn't want this to end.

"Lexi." I smiled, "Don't let me go, knowing you are sad like this." I thought for a moment before I did the most reckless, stupid and impulsive thing I had ever done in my life. "It doesn't just have to be a one time thing. We could keep it a secret like our friend ship?"

He thought about it for a moment but he nodded and pecked my lips quickly. I guess I must have done a bad job of hiding how happy I was because before I knew it, he traced his finger along my smile, "Il catch you later." I turned and ran back towards my house.

_**~End of Memory~**_

Light eventually returned to my eyes and I let loose a feral snarl as I sat up, quickly taking in the sights of my surroundings. If it wasn't bad enough that Peter had been able to sedate me like that, he had embarrassingly made me endure that old memory.

"James, remember who you are."

My eyes skirted around the building I was in; Black leather couches reclined on a fur carpet while paintings hung on the wall and I rushed over to look at their amazing detail. I could feel the unease behind me at how naturally I was using my vampire speed. A small kitchen was to the right as you walked in with a marble island top while around the edges were counters, a fridge and an oven which looked just as unused as the garden outside.

I had only one idea of how to get a warm meal.

The bedrooms were at the end of the living room separated by two doors. The one of the right was to the smaller bedroom though it had a king sized bed and air con unit to keep the room at a pleasing temperature while the door on the right led to a large bathroom through why it had both a shower and bath I was unsure but I still made sure that I would have that bath before I went back out again.

Then I frowned noticing a painting that was close by.

I wasn't frowning at it because of if I thought it was bad. I was frowning at it because of what it was. When I looked at it, it was like looking into a mirror of my old self; a person I would most often like to forget.

My golden locks were swerved over dark green eyes and smooth lightly tanned skin. Though my hair was short at the sides the swerved locks still tried in attempt to spike up. "James you gave me no choice."

There he stood.

Mr high and mighty acting as though; he still loved and cared for me, he cared about as much as a corpse. "You're going onto a feast of animal blood. We've come back to England and this time, you're going to college." He began to walk away but froze immediately as I focused my gaze on him. "James, enough." My vision blacked out and I let out another snarl as I switched my senses. "If I made you into this horror, then I am bound by my honour and my love for you, to help you out of this blood thirst. I always wanted you to conquer this thirst by yourself but I guess I took even that capability away from you."

I came crashing down to my knees and clutched my head as I felt his voice rushing through its dark recesses. "Come back."

"Get out of my mind." I growled and felt my vision return to me as slowly the burning in my throat sedated itself into the corner of my thoughts.

"See. It was that easy." He smiled as I marched forward. "See you didn't even have to-" He stopped as I smashed my fist into his face and watched him fly through into the wall from the sheer brute strength of my newborn vampire body.

A line of fracturing cracks moved across his cheek as the skin peeled back to reveal marble like bone and the dripping of blood which I could already tell wasn't his own.

"Stay out of my head." I muttered before I his arm locked around my waist and pulled me outside as though the inhuman impact had been just a brush of a feather against him.

I ignored how faintly the sunlight of the world stung me.

I folded my arms as we got into the car and I did my seatbelt, "What memory did you see?"

"What?"

"What memory did you see?" he asked patiently. Why tell him the truth? Why tell him I saw the only memory I have ever had of a boy who I actually ever loved. If I told him that, he would just crush that memory out of my mind as well.

"I don't remember."

"Maybe you should go back into them until we get to the school."

"What?" I snapped my head towards him.

"It won't be long." He kissed my forehead and I make him move back into his chair as my vision darkened. "Try to focus this time, it will be quick." He looked into my eyes pleadingly; his own were stained with guilt as he looked at the merciless monster that sat before him. "Please, I'm just trying to help you." he begged.

_You're trying to control me you complete fucking bastard c_\- my thoughts blanked out as I submerged into my old conscious

**_~inside the memories~_**

I slowly woke into my memory and groaned as I heard my phone going off. I had to answer it and listen to the shouting abuse of my parents barking at me...but I was soon comforted in the fact I felt a strong arm around me as I lay in one of my hiding dens with Lexi. It had been a couple of months now since me and Lexi had started doing this, but it was strange. Even at school he seemed to have been treating me better, as though he didn't even care what the others thought. "Hey sleepy head." I looked up to see Lexi's face as his soft voice cooed to me while I blinked sleep out of my eyes, "Bad dreams?"

"I'm not sure." I frowned slightly as I tried remembering it but it seemed to be slipping away. I shook my head before I looked at my phone and pressed ignore call as I saw it was my mother and father's number. "Is everything okay?"

"Honestly? I don't care." I smiled as he placed a linked crown of daisies on my head a rose without a stem in my hair. "Are you having fun dressing me up here?" I laughed then stopped as I heard the school bell ring.

"Peter what are you doing?"

My eyes snapped around and I felt Alex tense as his focus was totalled onto the couple that stumbled into our small clearing. A tall pale boy was laughing as he fell over onto a smaller boy who was slightly taller than me. The smaller of the two was blushing brightly while the taller one's pale face remained perfectly snow like. "Oh Peter stop!" the smaller boy who used to be my ex boyfriend giggled and I folded my arms.

"Yes Peter, please do stop."

Both slowly turned their heads finally noticing me.

"Sorry, we thought that there would be no one here. You're more than welcome to join in." the boy called Peter grinned and I felt Alex wrap his arm around my waist before I could run forward and smack this boy. Who does he think he is? "I'm good thanks." I muttered before I clutched Alex's hand tightly and began to walk away.

"Excuse me?"

Now I came skidding to a halt as the boy looked at me incredulously as though I had said the strangest thing he had ever heard.

"I said." I coughed dramatically as though I was clearing my voice, "I'm good thanks." I looked at Alex with a warm smile as the light in his perfect eyes danced. "Do you know who I am?"

"An arrogant prick?" I shrugged and Alex let out a laugh as he placed a kiss on my lips.

"Interesting."

"What?" I sighed as I turned to look back at him.

"I like a good game to get someone. It's so boring when they just roll over like a dog." He glanced down at the boy under him. "No offence."

"None taken." The boy pulled him into a kiss and I rolled my eyes in disgust as Peter winked at me before I walked away.

I never did enjoy games.

_**-Back in the real world-**_

I opened my eyes slowly looking at Peter who avoided every part of my gaze. You played your game. I turned my head to look out the window as the college came into view. I had so much ahead of a future ahead of me but you stilled played and I came out the loser.

That's when as the car came to the stop I got out as fast as I could and closed it gently behind me. I can't change the past. I can't age. I can't die. "James, there's a reason I brought you to this college specifically." I can't even escape from this pestering creep. "Because I'm going to give you a choice, but to do this you have to give me an equal chance as well." I lent back against the car and met Peter's gaze but I sighed deeply taking in the scent of the area. I knew that if it wasn't for him right now, moving around in my mind… I would already have pools of blood around my feet. "Peter what does it matter now? I'm never going to have anything else. I'm frozen like this. I'm never going to have anything I wanted in life, all because I'm a freaking, stupid-"

"James?"

I froze still in my tracks as the voice rushed over me. "James? Is that really you?"

Peter did the only thing he could.

Send me back into my memories to keep me calm.

_**-break into memories-**_

I smiled as I laid back resting my head in Alex's lap while I read the story I had wrote for my English class. _"As the pair walked back after a day at school, they took the long route back home. Through the city park which now blossomed in as much beauty as Russell imagined his world of ink did. It was pretty empty, so the boys sat in the sunshine by the river that was glistening happily._

_"How is this even possible? Are you real? Is this real?" Russell asked, bewildered._

_"This is very real." The taller boy whispered. Henry smiled to himself, and shuffled closer to Jonathan in silence. He didn't know what else he could say, apart from: "I...I think I love you, Jonathan."_

_The boy smiled, and cautiously put an arm around Russell, "I think I love you too."_

_Russell's heart raced once again, as he took Jonathan's hand and led him into the tree canopy of the park, his most favourite place to write. Now, in mid May, life danced about them as the cycle of summer continued around them, with the empowering beauty life._

_Jonathan smiled and clutched Russell's hand as tight as Russell clutched his in return. Both of them laughed as they twirled around, holding each others bodies close. As they hugged each other, standing, Jonathan backed him onto a tree trunk. As he did so, the tree shook and each of them were showered with soft, pink petals. Their hair was covered in flowers, and Jonathan playfully shook his hair free of the petals, almost all of them landing in Russell's face._

_Their eyes met, as if for the first time, and both trembled with nerves. Jonathan's body was pressed close to Russell's, who held it there. He hugged him closer, maintaining eye contact as their fingers once again became intertwined._

_Time seemed to slow down._

_As his lips trembled forwards, he tried to find Jonathan's, and inched himself forwards. He licked his lips, and his tongue lightly brushed against Jonathan's soft lips, that were slightly parted. They both smiled, and Jonathan's hold on Russell's hands grew more desperate, and loving when they both managed to inch themselves towards each other. Russell clenched his eyes shut, and held back the tears of joy, and unimaginable amounts of love."_ I looked over to see Alex lost in the sea of words.

It took him a few seconds longer to emerge from the image I had created him and he kissed my forehead softly. "Why does that sound partly familiar?" he wondered with a grin.

"Work with what you know, right?"

"Just promise you won't go into any more detail?" my face broke out bright red and I slapped him softly on the leg.

"Hey!"

"Sorry." he apologized half-heartedly before a rustling in the bushes disturbed both of us before we could pursue our kiss even further.

"Hello love birds."

I groaned as I looked over to see Peter walk into the clearing arrogantly. "Is that any state for our elected prom Queen to be in?" he laughed and I lunged forward only to be pulled back by Alex. I hated to be reminded of what those stupid morons had elected me to be after me and Alex had come out about our relationship.

Our gazes locked and I saw what he was thinking. I wasn't anything special to him, just a prize to be won from a difficult game which he hadn't been given before. Why should I play such a stupid game when he was the prize? An arrogant, stuck up, no good… no, If I carried on listing everything about him then I would be here for two days. "Peter, just go and play with my sloppy seconds. After all, I'm sure there are plenty of people who will simply roll over for you."

"When you get tired of tall dark and muscled over there. I will be waiting."

"I haven't got time for this." I placed a peck on Alex's cheek. He saw a slight fear run through my eyes as I realized the time and what it meant.

"I have to get home."

"Be careful." He whispered before I took off sprinting dreading the beating I knew was waiting for me when I got home.

How was I supposed to know what would happen to me?

_**~End of Memory~**_

I felt myself get shoved up against the wall as Alexander wrapped his arms around me and forced our mouths together… to say I didn't put up much of a fight would be an understatement. "You left me!" he snarled as he came back up for air then eagerly pulled us back together as he ran his hands through my hair. "Why did you leave?!"

"Do you really want to talk about that right now?" I managed between passionate kisses as I locked my legs around his waist while he pushed me further up the wall. I lent in and began to kiss on his beautifully smooth neck while he bit his lips fighting all urge to let loose a lustful scream. "I never forgot." I whispered as I nibbled his ear softly and found his sensitive spot behind his ear that drove him wild.

"You look so different."

"Is that a bad thing?" I ran my tongue across his lip where he had bitten to hard and I savoured the droplet of blood before I took in him as a sight.

I ripped away his shirt and began to take in the sight of his muscled body. Oh gods I have missed this. The feeling of his warm skin beneath my touch… but he stopped the kiss when he felt my hand touch his warm flame of a body. "James… you're freezing?" he looked at me wide eye and for a second I felt a slight fear spill through me. No my contacts are still perfectly fine. _He doesn't know. How can he know? Only you and Peter know. It's safe in your head. He can't get in your head._ My thoughts blurred in a hurry speech of paranoia for a few seconds before I smiled genuinely and pulled him close. "Don't you like it?"

"No… It's nice." He took my hand and placed it to his cheek, letting out a content sigh at the cooling touch but now all the pent-up lust and need to rip at each other till we were just bare and holding each other was gone.

We both slumped onto the ground and watched the clouds glide past us on a whim while the wind gently rushed past. "Why did you leave?" Alex silently asked me as he pulled his jacket around the both of us and I lent into his warm embrace.

"I had to." I gazed up at his broken eyes as he avoided my gaze. "I had no choice."

"There's always a choice and there's always a way."

"No." I shook my head as I played with one of his dark spikes that fell to the side of his eyes. "No there is never always a way out."

His eyes flashed with anger and I found myself pinned to the ground with his pounding scent driving me crazy. I tried to ignore the craving and burning in my throat. The fact that this was Alex made the smell all that more alluring. "JAMES, TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT HAPPENED! I LOST YOU! FOR THREE YEARS I LOST YOU. I DESERVE ANWSERS!"

_Three years?_ Okay. Peter's got some explaining to do.

"You can't handle them." My quiet voice made all the more impact to our conversation as he lent in closer and landed a soft peck on my cheek.

"I love you James."

"That's why I had to leave." I turned my head away from his gaze as he climbed off me.

"James I want answers."

"Don't you think that if I thought you could handle it, that I would have come back to you?!" This time it was my turn to be angry. "God, you idiot. I love you! Why would I willing choose to separate myself from the guy I love for three years? Do you honestly think that I would rip myself away and cause myself pain which hurt more than anything I have ever experienced." Almost as bad as anything I have experienced. I added in my thoughts, only one thing has ever hurt me as much as that. "Alex… if I told you, you would just run away."

"You sound like the boy on the ledge of the bank again."

The air grew heavy as I sighed and finally gave in. "Okay. You want to know the truth? Here it is. Peter. Show him."

"Who are you talking to?" Alex looked around but I kept my gaze fixed on part of the wall as I heard Peter drop from the roof above us and land next to Alex.

"Are you sure James?"

"He's right; for three years I vanished. He should know why. Show him the memory."

"Can you go through with it-?"

"Just show it him before I changed my mind." I grabbed onto Alex's wrist and felt him gasp as darkness entwined both our visions.

My mind was destroyed and haunted by one memory.

Now I had to relive it all over again.

_**~Flash back~**_

I screamed out frantically as a rough pair of hands smashed across my face, while choking my throat in my bed room. "Someone's got an unusual amount of fight in him tonight?" a work associate of my father laughed wickedly as he pulled his clothes back on after having being able to buy my body for a price set by his boss and the man who was supposed to care for me.

I turned and spat in his eye as I turned away crying. Thick bruises and lumps of purple had begun showing over my skin in mixture from the beating and… no I couldn't even say it. "I'll have to let your father know I wasn't pleased."

"Drop dead." I snarled as he walked out the room and I sobbed into my pillow only to soon hear the door slam back open and a pair of hands wrap around my throat once again as I was lifted up while a fist smashed into constantly. "You pathetic piece of trash. You don't even have one good use."

"Get off me!" I only soon found myself dropped to the floor as a foot stamped down viciously on my spine until a loud cracking sound was heard and he moved onto smashing my arms. I screamed out having no reaction left. No ability to move or barely open my eyes to see my last few seconds of fleeting life fade from sight.

I would have welcomed death.

Anything to make this pain stop.

But all that happened was I felt a warm splatter of crimson flash across my eyes as the window in my room smashed. Screams began to fill the room and I managed to open my swollen eyes to see my father's neck ripped open with large parts missing as though a wolf had savagely ripped it apart. As he tried to scream his blood simply gurgled in his mouth as he fell to the floor when the protruding bones finally snapped with a sharp twist.

Even in my defiled and destroyed state I felt myself burst out into a weak, pathetic laughter.

I looked up to see blood eyes stare down at me. Finish the job they were about to complete. Do it. I knew the emotion in those eyes but what did I care anymore? I was going to die. My wish was fulfilled; I had seen the man I hate die in agony. "I can make it all better." Peter cooed into my ear as he cradled my face and lent in closer. "I'm going to make everything fine."

No.

"You're going to be fine."

JUST LET ME DIE! But as he lent in closer I felt his teeth pierce the skin of my neck and I let out a feral scream. If I could have moved, my body would be flailing and trying to rip at the spot where he now pulled away from. Oh god! LET ME DIE! NO MORE PLEASE! STOP THE BURNING! In my mind I saw myself screaming beyond any human noise. Writhing in a way which shouldn't be possible to any creature in this impossible pain, such a thing as this should not exist.

The slow feeling of fire blistering my body was horrific as I felt teeth pierce my skin more over different parts of my body; my legs, my arms, my chest. Again and again that bite returned with as much pain as the fire that now reined me. "Hang in there please James." The cold hand touched my face but it made no different. The fire that now burn through me couldn't be extinguished. I was an inferno that couldn't be doused. The fire had to run its course.

And every second it burned me, I was more conscious than I had been in the last five years.

_**~End of flash back~**_

"STOP IT! STOP IT!" Alex let go of my hand and stared at me horrified as he scrambled away from Peter. "James-" his breath caught as he clutched his chest, feeling the faint echo of sharing my pain from the memory. "They were beating you but I never knew-" he shook his head as his chest rose and fell quicker.

"Alex you have to calm down." I gazed into his eyes and felt my grip run into his body making him mirror my movements as I set a slow pace of breathing which he copied until I released my mental grip on him.

His eyes wandered over my frozen in time self and studied me taking in each and single changed detail of me. "What did he do to you?"

"Alex-"

"ENOUGH GAMES! WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU!?" Alex snapped and placed his hands on each of my shoulders only to stare as my contacts finally burnt away. "Peter, can you give us both a place to talk in private, please?"

"Sure, good luck." My vision blacked out and I found myself smiling as the world around my drifted away only to be replaced with a false reality.

I closed my eyes as I burst through the surface of water, slowly smiling, feeling the cold elegance of the wave wash over me. I felt everything slow down around me as my momentum lifted me out and I raised my arms along my smooth skin and I spun before I pushed my weight forward spinning like a drill, diving back into the turquoise quilt of sea.

I slid through the water with ease, spinning and softly stretching out my legs sowing them through the ocean around me. As I spun the light glistened over me. I always felt so calm in the sea but soon my lungs began to need air again and I circled back to the surface repeating the burst again but this time slowing it down even more.

I opened my eyes halfway and saw Alex bursting into a bright red blush as the droplets moved from my eyes and flicked from hair as I slowly shook my head. I was only in some green swimming shorts. I guess Peter had chosen one of his old memories.

As I came out the waves Alex smiled softly, wrapping a towel around my shoulders and pulling me close as we looked to the sea. The sunlight burned onto my face and I enjoyed the fact that even if it was just only false, for these few minutes. I was Human again.

I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed as I watched the clouds clearing out of view. "James, what happened to you?"

"That night they took me on the floor. Normally I wouldn't get such a beating if I didn't put up much of a fight… but I was punched until I couldn't stand any more. Then my father made his money." I looked away from Alex as I noticed a pale shade slowly creeping up my legs and finger tips. Peter probably couldn't hold up any more illusions or mind games for much longer. "Peter was nearby and smelt the blood. He was curious and he saw everything that was going on. He thought he was doing me a favor by changing me." I kept my gaze locked on the horizon.

"Changing you into what?"

"You know what, Alex. Do you really have to make me say it?"

"A vampire."

The pale shade reached my face and as the sun hit my skin I burst into a sparkle like a thousand diamonds being illuminated by a halo of purity though now I was a symbol of darkness. I was the creature which feasted and sustained itself on blood. I had watched as Peter killed both my parents then left as the police had arrived.

When the burning had finally ripped through my entire body I had felt… So alive, even though I was reported dead barely a few seconds earlier.

My nurse and doctor never made it through the night after being left alone with me.

My eyes shifted from the ideal human emerald, back into a deep crimson as my vampire shade took dominance. My fangs moved carefully, just resting beneath the tip of my lips as everything else, humanity wise slipped back.

I couldn't even hold his look as we returned while the illusion began falling apart around us. "You wanted answers. Are you happy now? I left you not because of my choice, but because I am a creature that would just as well kill you and I wouldn't care, all that would matter to me is that I got a meal."

All colour faded from around us so it was just us two sat in a void of black. "Alex I can't do this to you." the towel around my shoulder melted away as my form flickered till we were sat back against the wall with Peter stood a good distance away.

I stood and began walking away.

"James I haven't given up on you."

I came to a stop and turn my head so I was glancing over my shoulder at him. "Then that makes one of us. I gave up any belief or faith in myself long ago."

"James this isn't over you can't run hide forever." I felt his eyes linger on me, resembling the same guilty gaze that now was locked in Peter's look every time he set sight on me.

I gave up on myself long before I even became a vampire.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone I hope you have a nice day/night wherever you are! ****Warning: **story contains BoyxBoy (don't like, then don't read), swearing, scenes of extreme violence and ratings may be turned up at a later time.****

* * *

"James. Have you been listening at all?!"

I turned my head from looking through the window where a blizzard was raging outside. Snow had been heavily falling for the last four days and students were beginning to get worried. Personally it just gave me a chance to hide outside for a bit where no one could find me. "James!"

"What?!" I barked as I turned my head towards one of the boy's I was supposed to be working with for a number. Jonathan Davice and his brother Christopher.

I knew about them and they knew about me.

Around them a thick scent of wet fur filled the air and corrupted all other scents in the area. If I had been human I probably would have puked my guts out from the smell, although, only a vampire would be able to pick up the smell in their blood. "James you might not have any talent to perform in theater but I intend to pass this class!" Jonathan growled.

"No talent?" my eyes lingered on the sight outside for a minute. This should be fun. "I'll show you who's got talent." My tone was emotionless and not caring which annoyed the dogs all the more.

I turned with a sigh to the band and nodded as they slowly started bringing me into the number and I stepped forward on stage, changing my entire body language so that every thing about me owned that stage, every part of me took the spot light and I was the main focus, "My sister Veronica and I had this double act" I slowly walked forward with Christopher who felling into the act with me as the eyes of the others fell on me, "And my husband, Charlie travelled around with us." I ran my hand down Jonathan's face tauntingly which made him blush and growl quietly. "With the last number in our act we did twenty acrobatic tricks in a row. One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles" I spun around Chris as we moved in perfect unison as we danced. "Flip flops, back flips, one right after the other."

I slowly started walking over with one of us on each side of Jonathan. "Well this one night before the show we were in Cicero. The three of us, we were in this hotel room. Boozing' and having' a few laughs and we ran out of ice" I shrugged, "So I went out to get some." I took a few steps away from those two as I stepped into a dark spotlight.

Now every single pair of eyes in that auditorium was on me and my velvet voice.

"I come back, open the door and there's Veronica and Charlie doing number seventeen." I growled but kept my voice soft and in tune, "The spread eagle!" Christopher fell back missing where Jonathan's arms were and tried to make it look like he had slipped back. Idiots. I thought as they spun towards me. They might not know a waltz from a tango but i had been performing this number my entire life

I slowly began turning, "well I was in such a state of shock I completely blacked out." I added an innocent smile to the sweet voice, "I can't remember a thing."

I watched as I saw Alex and Peter standing at either door of the large room. Both had folded arms and a soft look as though they recognised that deep down I was telling a part of my story. _You remember, that night at the hospital, when I had woken up Peter?_

_I remember James. _His voice whispered back softly.

"It wasn't until later when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead." The lyrics made both Peter and Alex flinch.

Jonathan just as planned, with Christopher, spun into my hand which rested on his shoulder as he pulled my in and Christopher spun around behind his back as though he was hiding as the main chorus of singers and dancers behind me began.

"They had it coming." My voice sung out filling the room as.

"They had it coming." Alex sang quietly from the doorway and nodded with a raised eyebrow at me as the lights burst out on stage raining golden sparks down on us as we moved more and more perfectly. My hands landing on Christopher's neck just as we had been choreographed, I imagined everything I had felt when I had turned, when I had lost everything human about me. Could I even love anymore? I guess Peter isn't so bad… He did try to save me and he has helped me suppress my blood lust…but it doesn't change that he made me into this. I am a monster, I could have died. At least in death I would have found peace… but look what I've become.

"They had it coming all along!" I spun back on Jonathan as he took my hand and we waltzed back, we moved until he flipped over my knee and my fingers rested on the chest moving over his heart while he fell on the floor acting dead. It could be so easy to kill you right now. I thought. it wouldn't even be a challenge. It would be so easy it's not even funny to think about.

I turned back to Christopher, "I didn't do it." I sang as I spun him into my embrace as he moved a leg up my thigh as he lent back and I spun him out before flipping him over my back and onto the floor where he lay across Jonathan as though they were two lovers, both were deadly still and I let the final notes of my lyrics rock out in the best and most perfect voice I could do, hitting perfect pitch and control "But if I'd done it. How could you tell me that I was wrong!" the dancers moved in on me and formed around me as though they were a cell and the music came to an end.

I mocked panting for breath like those two idiots and pretended to wipe non-existent sweat from my forehead. "No talent? Shove that in your pipe and smoke It." both looked at me with glares but my returning gaze burned through them. "Get out."

Both turned slowly and mechanically as though they were wound soldiers. I forced their arms to pick up their bags as they slowly began walking out the room, leaving me with just Peter and Alex.

Alex watched me for a few seconds with sad recognition and I held his gaze. We seemed to talk more quietly most days, than actually have conversations. I knew how desperate he was to get me back but part of the deal to Peter helping me control the blood lust was that I give him an equal chance as I would Alex.

Didn't mean that I had to be happy about it.

I rested back onto the stage and stared at the ceiling lights which were still showering golden sparks down around me. How long ago had it been since I had done something like this? A whole lifetime ago, I was a different person back then.

_You're still the same James. I turned my head to see Peter with his head lent on his arms with a gentle smile. You will always be James. No vampire can change that._

_You did._

_So you always used to perform on the stage?_ He raised an eyebrow and traced a smooth finger along the outline of my jaw. I will not deny that his touch didn't send small sparks through me.

But that was more to do with the fact of my vampire nature than anything else.

I used to perform in some of the biggest theatres! It was one of the only times my mothers was ever any support to me but deep down it made her hate me even more, I did the one thing she could never do with her life. She could never make it in theatre… it's why she had to marry my father.

Show me. Peter reached out a hand and I let him roll back through my mind as everything changed around us.

**_-memory-_**

Slowly the spot light spun onto me and I felt all the audience take a breath in as the lights made me look quite intimidating before the piano slowly brought the tune in speeding up.

I stepped forward closing my eyes as I felt my voice take on one of my favourite songs by the Script and Will. "Yeah, you could be the greatest, You can be the best, you can be the king Kong banging on your chest" I smiled out to the audience as they began clapping along with the song returning my smile.

"You could beat the world, you could beat the war, you could talk to God, go banging on his door" I watched as Isabella; an old rival, who I had fought against for every solo when it came to a show, slowly came onto stage, her voice hypnotizing everybody in the audience, drawing their eyes to her.

"You can throw your hands up, you can beat the clock, you can move a mountain, you can break rocks."

I frowned slightly as I swung from the metal frames that had been set up, slowly planning my moves in split seconds as I forced myself into flexible gymnast positions which drew all the eyes back to me. I could see my mother watching us from the audience as this silent battle raged between me and Isabella though her voice kept drawing them back.

"You can be a master. Don't wait for luck. Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself"

she began to form the words in her mouth but I leapt down spinning slowly as I stood from my crouch on the circle LED light pad which had been positioned perfectly and my velvet voice rung out.

"Standing in the hall of fame!" flames burst from the stage around me as the bright light burst over me while my hair moved up in waves with my dark grin as my body kept moving keeping in time with the beat. "And the world's goanna know your name"

"Cause you burn with the brightest flame" her voice wrapped around my audience again, as I was forced to bring out the big guns. I had a very thin second skin layer added to me by Terry, my tutor, before the performance had begun and now I got to put it to the test!

"And the world's gonna know your name" the lights wrapped around me again as I stepped into the flames dancing them along my skin ignoring the faint prickling sensation when they stayed for too long.

I pranced and swerved with the flames while the people in the audience stared at me with a wild fascination as I looked like I was the body of the flames themselves.

"And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame" we both sung out the last line while I reached out a flames hand to her and she held her arms sadly over her heart.

The audience stood and roared for us both though I could see their applause was more directed towards Isabella than me. She elegantly bowed and blew out a kiss to them while I shot her a glare.

_**-End of memory-**_

Peter began laughing and I shot him a questioning look as our setting became more solid around us. "And what's so funny?"

"You don't see it? You are so much like you're old self!"

"What are you on about?"

"You're so stubborn and defiant that your own nature has tricked you into believing you are different."

"Excuse me?!" I lunged over and pinned him to the stage as I crouched over his chest looking into those dazzling, arrogant, hypnotic eyes. But for the first time they were clear and defiant as they looked back at me. The world was tinged with red and I could feel like the deeper and darker side of my nature was desperate to surface and rip into him. "You haven't change James." He rolled his eyes as he watched the skin on my body squirm in shades of pale and warm, trying desperately to pull back and reveal the beast beneath.

"Hey!" I growled as he reversed the lock and pinned me down to the stage.

"The only difference is now I have given you a long time to think about what to do with your existence." He smirked. "Now. What do you want to do with it."

"What do I want to do?" I grinned as I felt a thought become clouded in my mind. Probably the same thought as him. "What do I want to do?"

"I know." He lent closer and ran his marble lips across my own. His tongue traced the outline of my mouth before I allowed him entrance and I took control of the kiss. "This seems very familiar." I grinned as I pushed him back. "You was watching me and Alex weren't you?" I pushed him up against a wall and returned into a kiss as my mind clouded over, only accepting one possible thought and that was to kiss him. _NO THIS IS WRONG!_

For the first time I took a glance into his eyes to see his gaze was a little too focused… _he wouldn't… especially not after… no he wouldn't… would he?_

_"_Peter?" he lent in a little closer but I frowned and just smacked out my fist punching him. He screamed and held his nose which began to drip the stench of animal blood which kept pumping through his veins. "You had to use your gift to get me to kiss you?!" I bellowed and found my hand clamped around his neck. I could feel it more sharply now.

Talons trying to burst free of the skin and rip through him.

My fangs wanting to desperately tear through the skin of his neck. Let him bleed out and leaving his living corpse drained as it would turn to stone till another piece of prey would return to rejuvenate him.

"Oh come on James."

"I can't believe I thought there was an real decent side to you!"

"I saved you from your parents!" Peter shouted as I took a few steps back. Running my hands through my hair, trying as hard as I could to control the mess of thoughts and emotions which were running through my head. "What did he ever do for you!?"

"HE MADE ME FEEL ALIVE PETER!" I screamed.

"What's going on in here?"

I looked over to see a blonde girl waltz in. A frown playing on her lips as she glared us both down._ Oh god no. Peter, don't._

_Are you going to give me a chance?_

_NO._

_Then I'm sorry._

A burning ache began to rise in my throat and I shook my head as though I could rid the thought from my mind._ Peter! No! Please, she's innocent! Don't do this to her!_

_Are you going to forget about Alex?_

_Never._

_Then you leave me no choice._

_Oh god, no!_

The burning in my throat became agonizing as my full attention was turned on it. I grasped my rock like throat as though I could rip the flames away. No. There was no way to stop it. The smell of her scent was already tainting the air like a rolling mist which had become harder than cement. I tried everything in my head. Using the heightened emotions and focusing on anger, but that just brought the thirst stronger. I tried to think of Alex, but all I could imagine was his mouth watering neck. "Are you okay?" the girl fixed her blue eyes on me.

"Come here." I snarled. A slight screech to my voice as my eyes began to burn with the pain of my vampire nature.

"Excuse me? Uh, no, you creep."

"COME HERE!"

Her body stiffened and slowly began to move towards me. _You can stop this you know. Just say the word and I will make you forget everything about Alex. This girl doesn't have to die._

_I will never forget Alex._

_Then she dies._

The girl let loose a scream as I grabbed her throat and sunk my teeth into her skin. The warm buttery liquid began running down my throat, subduing the flames but not quenching them. Those flames could never be extinguished.

The girl soon stopped flailing and held my head close to her until I drained her dry and she fell to the floor. No. I wasn't done! My thoughts hissed, not giving a single care to the corpse now at my feet. "I will never forget about Alex." I growled as I took in unnecessary breaths as I tried to steady my thoughts. "But you're right. I'm not the monster. You are." I jumped forward and did the thing I have done most of my life.

I ran.

All the while I felt my mind sinking back into the unspoken horrors of my past.

The moment I had become a vampire.

_**-James' darkest memory-**_

I didn't open my eyes as I felt the flames diminish. I dared not look in fear of what I might see. Already a scent was filling me to the brim with hunger as a scorching heat blistered my throat. "Incredible."

A pair of high heels clipped around me.

It was getting harder and harder not to open my eyes.

The sound of my mother's sharp unbroken voice was not that of a compassionate carer, but that of a person who was finding it hard to swat a fly. "I saw him when you brought him in. You said he was dead!"

"He is. There's no heart beat!" a deep voice growled back at her. "The trauma to the skull and spine repaired itself extremely fast… even the scars around the…" the man paused as though he had come across a subject he realised he should know nothing about. I could just imagine my mother glaring at him. "The scarring has vanished. Every slice, cut and bruise has healed."

"Well… have you checked the blood?"

"We attempted to take a sample of the blood… the needle snapped as soon as it touched the skin. His skin has the same texture of living marble. It's quite incredible."

Stop this.

My fingers flexed as I felt them tighten into a fist.

"I want the body burnt. I want all evidence-"

"Mother."

In a flash of the briefest second I was stood above both of them on the silver bed beneath me. Even with my eyes closed I could tell that both looked at me with horrified gazes, which widened with disbelieving fear. "This can't be real."

My eyes burst open and my mother let loose a scream as the door slammed in the room. A scent of a summer breeze, honey and sea air mingled into my nose as I took in the sight of Peter who shared the smallest resemblance of the gaze which my mother and her lackey servant kept on me. "You've been a bad mommy." I grinned.

Inside I could feel an intense tugging as though my mind and body wanted to reach out and capture someone. My mother turned and brought her hand down on the alarm but it came to a stop just before it hit the glass as my palm faced out to hers. "Now… isn't that interesting." I flexed my fingers and watched as to her horror, hers did the same.

"Jamie!"

"Don't call me that." I watched as her other wrist flung out and snapped as she screamed. A deep river of satisfaction ran through my corrupted non existing heart at that point.

"Yes! Just don't hurt me! I'll do anything you want." Her eyes we're full of an egotistic, self-indulgent fear.

"You have to feed James." Peter's voice sounded and I finally looked over to see why had been so quiet for so long.

The doctor lay, slumped on the floor with bite marks deeply embedded into his neck, which now gushed streams of blood. That can't be the smell… that can't be the-. My thoughts were interrupted when my body acted by itself and I tore my mouth onto the dead mans neck. Oh god it's still warm! But that thought just egged me on faster as I suckled at the wound; burying my teeth in as far as I could without ripping away the flesh entirely.

Peter stroked my head softly and cooed to me gently, "That's okay. You're doing great. Just take your fill."

"Shut up." I gasped as I came up for an unnecessary breath. "I'm drinking." I snarled and buried my teeth back in as I drained the last few sips.

Vampire.

The single word was more than just a label which was now branded onto my skin. It was my curse to endure.

I snarled viciously as I picked up the dried out corpse and smashed it into the wall. "I'M STILL THIRSTY!"

"Then its good I came with a plan isn't it? But first." He walked over to me as I stood bear, with no clothes. They had no decency when it came to a corpse, a gesture I guess I had just returned to the doctor who now lay with a smashed skull from the sheer impact on the wall.

Peter reached out a hand and rested it on the side of my face as I lent back against the wall with a grin. He pulled me into a kiss and my leg moved against his thigh as his tongue ran across my lips, taking in the taste of the sweet liquid which I craved for. "Would you like first sip?"

"Who says you're getting any?"

"With a body like that, I'll be getting some." He winked at me and I smashed my arm out behind me and heard him go into the stone wall. It would have been comical if I hadn't been staring at a woman I was about to kill. "You will be the last person to ever get my body."

"I love a good challenge." MY gaze moved over to him and for the first time I saw a hidden fear in the depths of his eyes. He was trying to hide it but he was scared of what I had become. "Let me finish this then we will have a nice little talk. You made me this. You're equally to blame here."

"What?!"

"You could have let me die."

"No I couldn't."

"And why's that? You were that desperate to prove your point that you made me into this!" I screamed at him and watched as he tried to sink further into the wall.

James. Calm down. His voice started bouncing around me head and my eyes snapped shut as I saw him standing there in my mind. James its okay, this is normal for a newborn. Try and focus your mind. I can't help if you are so angry.

Angry? YOU WANT TO SEE ANGRY?!

James calm down! As soon as he said that I let the full torrent of pent-up rage explode across my mind with a scream. I imagined an unsanctified fire, burning so bright and yet with a righteous darkness, as though summoned from the darkest pits of hell. It was reined by the memories of suffering I had kept pent-up for the last five years. The rage burst through and smashed him to the side as though he was a leaf on the highway. His eyes widened as I opened mine and I saw him stare at me with a drowning guilt. "James-"

"No more!" I screamed and watched as his hands shot up to his throat.

Mother tried again to bring her fist down on the alarm but this time, my gaze was powerful enough to bring her movement to a stop. "You thought this day would never come? You thought that I would never avenge what has been done to me?" I crouched to her height as she fell to the floor and scrambled away, frantically from me. "Everyday you made money from my body and when you didn't make enough." My eyes narrowed as I snarled. "You beat me."

"James I loved you-"

"ENOUGH OF THE LIES!" I raised my hand up sharply and watched as she launched off the floor pinned to the ceiling. Her eyes hardened.

"You want the truth? You were a mistake. An accident, I wanted you aborted. I never wanted you. But your father saw a long-term investment. What a profit we made."

"Enough." I smashed my hand down and watched as she came crashing to the floor.

"NO JAMES, WAIT!" she clawed frantically at the tiles, trying to get some grip. Her nails burst from her skin as my grip pulled her closer.

"James, stop! You will regret it!" Peter shouted out, finally finding something to pull him out of his fear, something to burst him out from the horror he had seen in my mind.

"The only thing I will regret is not doing this sooner." I grabbed my mother off the floor and tilted her head. Her neck glistened alluringly in the sparkling light. "You know what? I want you to remember this even when you're dead." I reached up and smashed my hand into the light so it began to flicker and spread flames around us. "I'll see you in hell."

"JAMES NO!"

I bit down viciously into her neck as she screamed.

_**-End of memory-**_

I frowned as I looked up from staring out of the window. I had slipped off into day dreams a lot when I was human and it always had made time seem to go faster… but that… that had felt almost…

It had felt too real to just be a day-dream.

I looked over to the boy who was sat a couple of chairs away from me in our English class. _You changed me. You made me a monster. You thought you were saving me but really you just made me a fucking worse monster than you!_

_Yes. Yes I did._ His voice filled my head as he gazed over, silently at me._ And I would do it all over again._

"Class dismissed." The teacher announced as the school bell rang. I shook my head. I had enough.

I was sick of him acting as though he was Mr high and mighty. Acting as though he had actually saved me.

He had just put me into my own personal hell.

**_-Break-_**

I blinked a few times as I stared at the sky. Snow flakes fell gently into my palm as I rested my head against a sleeping oak tree by a frozen lake. I need to stop day dreaming. I looked down as a sweet scent filled my nose, making my throat burst out into a dry fire. "Just like old times." Alex smiled at me.  
"What?"  
"I went to get marshmallows Blondie, remember?" he frowned slightly as he said it as though he had just remembered doing it as he said it.  
"I must have dozed off." I smiled and watched as Alex started a small camp fire in a circle of stones.  
"You love marshmallows, right?"  
"I used to have a taste for them, yeah." I grinned and watched as realisation dawned on him. "Who's the Blondie now?" I stuck my tongue out at him and he landed a kiss on my lips.  
"I love you so much." Alex smiled and I snuggled closer to him. I curled my hand into his shirt and listened to the soft pacing of his heart. Feeling the extreme warmth of his body beneath me, one of the most trying things I have ever had to ignore. But... the comfort, the feeling of his arms around me. It brought my attention away from my hunger.

I hadn't yet told him the fact that Vampires don't sleep… Well, at least not during mid-day!"I love you and always will." He purred again as he thought I had fallen asleep in his arms.  
"I love you too." I whimpered, trying not to let his scent and taste fill my airless lungs.

How could this even really work. How could I be with him when whenever I wasn't thinking about sinking my teeth into his throat, I was thinking about just how desperate I was to try and act human enough for him! How would this last?

Would it even last?

Oh... what the hell do I do. I thought dejectedly.


End file.
